Feedback is everywhere. From childhood to adulthood, we receive constant input about who we are and what we’re capable of—whether it’s from parents, teachers, bosses, or even our own inner voice. But here’s the catch: not all feedback helps us grow. Some of it locks us into limiting beliefs, while other types push us forward. Understanding the difference can completely change how we approach challenges, success, and even failure.
The Hidden Influence of Feedback
Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck discovered that the way we receive feedback plays a huge role in whether we develop a fixed mindset or a growth mindset.
Fixed mindset feedback sounds like: “You’re so talented!” or “Wow, you’re a natural at this!” While these comments seem positive, they can create pressure to always appear skilled, leading to fear of failure.
Growth mindset feedback focuses on effort and progress: “You worked really hard on this!” or “I can see how much you’ve improved.” This reinforces the idea that abilities can develop over time.
Think about the feedback you’ve received in your life. Were you ever told you weren’t good at something, and did you accept it as fact? Or were you labeled as “the smart one” or “the creative one” and felt pressured to maintain that identity? These early messages shape what we believe is possible for ourselves.
Distancing Identity from Performance
One of the biggest mindset traps is tying our self-worth to our achievements. If we succeed, we feel valuable. If we fail, we feel like a failure. This thinking is dangerous because it makes setbacks feel personal, rather than just part of the learning process.
The truth? Who you are is not defined by your results.
A bad test score doesn’t mean you’re bad at learning.
A failed project doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
Struggling with a new skill doesn’t mean you’ll never master it.
Instead of focusing on outcomes, shift your focus to the process. If you didn’t succeed, ask: What can I learn from this? What can I try differently next time? This approach removes the fear of failure and turns challenges into stepping stones.
Reframing Feedback: Taking Control of Your Narrative
You can’t always control the feedback you receive, but you can control how you interpret and use it.
If you hear: “You’re not good at this.” → Reframe to: “I haven’t mastered this yet, but I can improve with effort.”
If you think: “I always mess up.” → Reframe to: “I’m still learning. What can I do
differently next time?”
If someone says: “You’re so smart.” → Shift the focus: “Thanks! I worked really hard on this.”
This small change in language rewires how your brain perceives challenges. Instead of seeing obstacles as proof of inadequacy, you start seeing them as opportunities for growth.
Moving Forward with a Growth-Oriented Mindset
Developing a growth mindset isn’t about ignoring challenges or pretending failure doesn’t exist.
It’s about recognizing that failure is part of progress. The most successful people in any
field—athletes, artists, entrepreneurs—didn’t start off as experts. They put in the time, effort, and persistence to improve.
So as you reflect on the feedback you’ve received over the years, ask yourself: Have I let certain comments define me? Have I avoided challenges because I believed I wasn’t naturally good at something?
It’s never too late to rewrite the narrative. Feedback isn’t meant to box you in—it’s meant to help you grow. And the way you choose to interpret it can make all the difference.
🔗Ready to start building strength from the inside out? Check out Episode 7 of Mind &
Motion: Feedbacks and Beliefs with Dr. Tomi Mitchell on YouTube, where we explore how to strengthen both your mind and body for true resilience.
👉Watch now and don’t forget to subscribe to stay updated on each new episode!
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