The people you surround yourself with significantly shape your life—even in ways you might not
notice at first. Spending time with those who share your values, energy, and ambition can
inspire, challenge, and help you grow. It’s not just feel-good advice— research from Harvard's
Study of Adult Development found that strong, positive relationships are directly linked to longer
lives, greater happiness, and even better health. On the flip side, if you’re constantly around
people who focus on negativity, make excuses, or avoid responsibility, you might find yourself
feeling stuck, drained, and uninspired.
The Cost of Misaligned Relationships
We’ve all dealt with people who refuse to take responsibility for their choices. Instead of owning
up to things, they blame others, make excuses, or avoid putting in real effort. You might feel like
you can help them, but trying to help someone who doesn’t want to change can leave you
frustrated, exhausted, and even questioning your energy.
Studies have shown that relationships characterized by negativity or emotional strain can impact
mental and physical health. Research published in The Journal of Health and Social Behavior
highlights how toxic relationships can elevate stress levels and even contribute to long-term
health issues, such as cardiovascular problems. For leaders, this can be especially tough. Your
time and energy are precious, and pouring them into people who aren’t ready to grow means
you have less to give to eager and motivated people.
Guarding Your Mental and Emotional Energy
Taking care of your energy isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being. That doesn’t mean
you have to cut people off completely, but there’s a difference between being supportive and
letting someone’s negativity drain you. It’s essential to be there for those who are genuinely
trying to improve, but at the same time, you need to recognize when someone’s behaviour is
pulling you down.
It's all about striking the right balance. You want to be there for people, offering support and
encouragement, but you must also know when to give them space. Spend time with the people
who make you feel good about yourself—those who push through challenges, chase their
dreams, and motivate you to do the same.
The Power of Eagles
Think about the Eagles for a moment. They’re strong, focused, and always aiming for the sky.
When you surround yourself with “eagles”—people who are driven, positive, and striving to be
their best—they’ll push you to be your best, too. Being around people like this creates a ripple
effect. Their energy will lift you up, and their ambition will motivate you to keep growing.
A study from Harvard Business Review emphasizes the importance of proximity to high
performers. It found that teams and individuals surrounded by motivated peers were more likely
to succeed, partly due to the influence of "performance spillover". Being around people like this
creates a kind of ripple effect. Their energy lifts you, their focus keeps you on track, and their
example shows you what’s possible. It doesn’t mean you have to cut everyone else out of your
life—it just means you should be thoughtful about who has the most significant influence on you.
Finding the Right Balance
Choosing who to spend time with doesn’t mean shutting everyone else out—it just means being
mindful of the people who are closest to you. The people in your inner circle should be the ones
who challenge you to be better, hold you accountable, and encourage you to grow.
Authentic leadership isn’t about fixing everyone’s problems or trying to make everyone happy.
It's about knowing when to step back and focus your energy on people who are ready to grow
and succeed. Sometimes, that means walking away from people who aren’t willing to take
responsibility for their own lives, and that’s okay. When you focus on the right people, you
create an environment where everyone can thrive.
Let Yourself Soar
The people you surround yourself with either help you soar or keep you stuck. Make sure you
choose people who inspire, challenge, and help you become the best version of yourself. Don’t
be afraid to set boundaries to protect your energy—it’s not selfish; it’s necessary for your
growth.
You can still care about and support those not ready to change, but don’t let them weigh you
down. You can’t soar if you’re constantly being held back. Be intentional about who you let into
your circle, and you’ll be amazed at how much higher you can reach when surrounded by the
right people.
Life is too short to stay grounded. Find your eagles, spread your wings, and reach for the sky.
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