People often use the word narcissist to describe a person who posts a lot of selfies on their
social media accounts or someone who likes to talk about themselves a little too much.
But the thing is, there is such a medical condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NDP).
Recognizing the signs of a true narcissist can be tricky, though. Because someone can just be
overly confident or really charming. And so, people usually realize this when they’re already
deep into the relationship.
So, how can you spot the difference?
What is Narcissist Personality Disorder?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NDP) is a personality disorder characterized by an
exaggerated sense of superiority and entitlement, excessive need for special treatment, or
someone who lacks boundaries and empathy.
They often appear to have great confidence, but in truth, they have a fragile ego and don’t do
well under criticism.
People with a narcissistic personality disorder believe they deserve special attention from
everyone. And so, they get riled up when they don’t receive this kind of admiration.
Because of this, they can’t truly build authentic and lasting relationships, either in their personal
or professional life.
According to experts, a person who exhibits around 50% of these signs and symptoms can be
medically diagnosed with NDP.
Types of Narcissist Personality Disorder
According to experts, the core traits of an overt and covert narcissist are pretty much the same.
They both have a superior sense of self-importance and have a grandiose idea of fame.
The difference between the two is how they present their narcissistic behavior.
Overt
This type of narcissist commonly displays their toxic behaviors out in the open . Overt narcissists
are usually extroverted. They’re the ones who always talk loud and hogs the conversations
during parties, who tell the most exaggerated stories.
Aggression is associated with them which can occur when someone or something challenges
their opinion.
Covert
Unlike the overt type, covert narcissist attacks in a less obvious way. They often use
back-handed compliments and emotional manipulation from their toolbox to get what they want.
They would even go as far as downplaying their own achievements to get compliments or
admiration from other people.
This type of narcissistic behavior is more difficult to recognize compared to overt. People usually
find themselves deep in emotional abuse before they realize that their partner is a covert
narcissist.
Signs of a narcissist in a romantic relationship
They’re charming at first.
One of the main reasons why people get easily attracted to narcissists is because they’re
charming… initially. Narcissists tend to ‘love bomb’ their victims.
But when you go against them or do something they don’t approve of, that’s when they’ll turn
against you.
The world revolves around them
It’s one thing to talk about yourself. But when you start to feel that every conversation is
practically all about them, then you might want to take a step back.
Narcissists are self-centered. They want the spotlight to be on them all the time and they’ll do
that by hogging the discussion, or by turning the conversation all about them.
They lack respect for your boundaries
Narcissists can’t empathize with others and they enjoy exploiting other people’s feelings. And so
they’re not able to wrap the idea of boundaries around their heads. When you set boundaries,
they’ll manipulate you and say things like you’re acting crazy, or too emotional.
They isolate you from your friends and family
Narcissists are control freaks! They want to dominate everything in your life. One way they can
ensure this is by detaching you especially from people who might notice his toxic tendencies.
Some narcissists won’t openly tell you to stop seeing your family or hanging out with your
friends, while others do so explicitly.
When a narcissist gets to you completely, you’ll even find yourself defending them or making
excuses for why they act that way.
They’re always right about everything
Deep into your relationship, you’ll notice how your partner always blames you. Or when you’re
fighting it’s always your fault and they never say sorry.
Narcissists have repressed shame and don’t have a lot of guilt. Instead of recognizing their own
mistakes, they blame other people. This inflates their ego once more.
The takeaway
Being in a relationship with a narcissist often leaves you like an empty shell.
You can’t change a person with NDP because they can’t easily change themselves. You’ll never
be enough for them even if you try to be the person they want you to be. This person will only
continue to abuse you emotionally.
The best thing to do is to cut them off. Don’t fight or argue with them. Just cut them off
completely and make no attempt of answering their calls or texts.
You can seek professional support to discuss your experience and how you can recuperate.
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